HOW TO DE-ESCALATE A FIGHT


Here are a few tips to help you come back to peace when you feel tension is rising!

You can apply these tactics in romantic relationships, social life, social media, family, team work and so much more.

One given expression might not always work or even not work at all within your specific situation or with a certain person.

Be smart! Take it as an art form where you play with your communication ninja moves!

Reach out it you have any questions.

Always eager to explore the best tactics for your unique situation.

If you face a deep ongoing fighting challenge in your couple, reach out for a coaching session!

I can help you see through the tension and rebuild love and emotional safety.


#1

Instead of “You are wrong!”

Say “My experience of this reality seems to be different than yours”

#2

Instead of “You are wrong!”

Say “My research indicates something different than that”

#3

Instead of “You are wrong!”

Say “I respect your opinion and I have a different view on this topic”

#4

Instead of “You are wrong!”

Say “Are you open to explore this deeper?”

#5

Instead of “You are wrong!”

Say “Can I ask you a couple of follow up questions on what you just said?”

#6

Instead of “You are wrong!”

Say “Tell me more…”

#7

Instead of “You are wrong!”

Say “So, what I hear you say is… “

repeat exactly what the other person said without distorting their words

#8

Instead of “You are wrong!”

Say “I hear what you are saying. Would you like to hear my view on this topic?”

#9

Instead of “You are wrong!”

Say “It’s ok to disagree”

#10

Instead of “You are wrong!”

Say “So, here is what we agree on…”

#11

Instead of going reactive

Say “This conversation is not serving me. I will now step out”

#12

Instead of going reactive

Say “I feel this conversation is going toxic. I want to take a break and come back to it another time”

#13

Instead of going reactive

Say “I love you! I have absolutely no desire to fight with you”

#14

Instead of going reactive

Say “Sorry, I’m out of fighting credits for this week. I can’t do this right now”

#15

Instead of going defensive

Say “Yes, I’m human. Yes I’m not perfect. I’m ok with that”

#16

Instead of going defensive

Say “So, what you are saying is that I’m human”

#17

Instead of going defensive

Say “Yes, it’s ok not to be perfect”

#18

When someone’s being really pushy, instead of arguing

Say

“I don’t give you permission to tell me what to do”

Or

“I don’t give you permission to tell me what to think”

#19

Ask for permission before offering advice

#20

Ask for permission before sharing on a sensitive topic

#21

When someone tries to control what you say

Say

“I don’t need your permission to share my truth”

#22

Instead of going reactive

Say “Stop! I don’t want to fight with you”

#23

Instead of engaging in a fight

Say “I really want to hear what you want to say but now is not a good time”

“Let’s meet thursday 8pm to check in”

#24

Instead of engaging in a fight

Say “I am not you”

#25

Instead of engaging in a fight

Say “I don’t have to justify myself to you”

#26

Instead of engaging in a fight

Say “I play life by my rules”

#27

Instead of engaging in a fight

Say “I don’t play life by your rules”

#28

Speak your truth

It’s easier to relate to you when you speak your truth


To follow up and dive deeper, here are a few questions for you:

Which of these responses did you use before?

Which ones worked best for you?

Which ones do you feel would not work in your situation?

What other responses would you use?


Enjoy!

Reach out to sign up for a session with me?

Follow this link:

I WANT A SESSION WITH SHIVA



About the author

Shiva Rajaya

Tantrika / Life coach / Activator of new evolutionary codes for the planet and humankind

__CONFIG_colors_palette__{"active_palette":0,"config":{"colors":{"62516":{"name":"Main Accent","parent":-1}},"gradients":[]},"palettes":[{"name":"Default Palette","value":{"colors":{"62516":{"val":"var(--tcb-color-4)"}},"gradients":[]}}]}__CONFIG_colors_palette__
COACHING
__CONFIG_colors_palette__{"active_palette":0,"config":{"colors":{"62516":{"name":"Main Accent","parent":-1}},"gradients":[]},"palettes":[{"name":"Default Palette","value":{"colors":{"62516":{"val":"var(--tcb-color-4)"}},"gradients":[]}}]}__CONFIG_colors_palette__
COURSES
__CONFIG_colors_palette__{"active_palette":0,"config":{"colors":{"62516":{"name":"Main Accent","parent":-1}},"gradients":[]},"palettes":[{"name":"Default Palette","value":{"colors":{"62516":{"val":"var(--tcb-color-4)"}},"gradients":[]}}]}__CONFIG_colors_palette__
EVENTS

__CONFIG_colors_palette__{"active_palette":0,"config":{"colors":{"eb9e3":{"name":"Main Accent","parent":-1},"673d0":{"name":"Accent Low Opacity","parent":"eb9e3"},"8af29":{"name":"Accent Medium opacity","parent":"eb9e3"}},"gradients":[]},"palettes":[{"name":"Default","value":{"colors":{"eb9e3":{"val":"var(--tcb-color-1)"},"673d0":{"val":"rgba(245, 245, 255, 0.08)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":239,"l":0.98,"s":0.99}},"8af29":{"val":"rgba(245, 245, 255, 0.2)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":239,"l":0.98,"s":0.99}}},"gradients":[]},"original":{"colors":{"eb9e3":{"val":"rgb(47, 138, 229)","hsl":{"h":210,"s":0.77,"l":0.54,"a":1}},"673d0":{"val":"rgba(47, 138, 229, 0.08)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":210,"s":0.77,"l":0.54,"a":0.08}},"8af29":{"val":"rgba(47, 138, 229, 0.2)","hsl_parent_dependency":{"h":210,"s":0.77,"l":0.54,"a":0.2}}},"gradients":[]}}]}__CONFIG_colors_palette__
__CONFIG_colors_palette__{"active_palette":0,"config":{"colors":{"9bd08":{"name":"Main Accent","parent":-1}},"gradients":[]},"palettes":[{"name":"Default Palette","value":{"colors":{"9bd08":{"val":"var(--tcb-color-3)"}},"gradients":[]},"original":{"colors":{"9bd08":{"val":"rgb(19, 114, 211)","hsl":{"h":210,"s":0.83,"l":0.45}}},"gradients":[]}}]}__CONFIG_colors_palette__
STAY CONNECTED

RELATED POSTS

Test 4

SHIVA PICTURES

WHAT DO YOU SEE IN MY FUTURE? TELL ME…

Test 2

Test

VITAL TANTRA – CORE VITAL POWERS

20 KEY STEPS TO UNLEASH YOUR TANTRIC LOVER

JAYASANAS AND JAYA PRANAYAMAS

YOU ARE THE LIVING TEACHING

ECLIPSE PRAYER


__CONFIG_colors_palette__{"active_palette":0,"config":{"colors":{"62516":{"name":"Main Accent","parent":-1}},"gradients":[]},"palettes":[{"name":"Default Palette","value":{"colors":{"62516":{"val":"rgb(4, 10, 232)"}},"gradients":[]}}]}__CONFIG_colors_palette__
MORE ARTICLES