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home > fun dating > for women > cyber dating > Met a wonderful man online
Met a wonderful man online
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Met a wonderful man online, pictures and heart to heart talks to include a lot of passion felt talks exchanged through email for the first couple of weeks. Then email and phone for 3 months. We then met. The passion was instant and we had a wonderful night together. He is recently divorced and I have been for 9 yrs now. I know the details of his divorce and the hurt he is still feeling. He said he would try to spend as much time possible with me (4 hours driving time between us). I feel very deeply for him and when I told him so through an email he told me I made him uncomfortable and he feels he should back off. He still called daily but sent no more emails, talk has been small talk. I can tell he is avoiding his feelings as not to encourage mine. When he goes out of town he doesn't call me. Once he didn't arrive back as scheduled. I was first worried but as another couple of days passed, I thought maybe I should be getting the hint and through an email asked. So he called me right back and asked where the person he met that was so secure with herself went. He also only communicates with me through his work email and work phone, says because of not being ready to get his kids involved in an emotional relationship. There is not any communication outside of his work time. I have his cell phone and pager but he asks that I don't call his cell because sometimes his daughter has it and the few times I have paged him he doesn't respond if its on the weekend or at night time. I also have a daughter and don't want her involved in any in/out relationships. So understanding I know I am. I now have only heard from him once in the last three weeks, which was a couple of days ago. Should I be more understanding or should I drive over and see what his real story is???? Again, we have only been together once and he wont call me at night or on weekends because he is "busy with the kids", this is after almost 5 months. I still don't know his home address or phone number, I'm sure it wouldn't be hard to find though. What should I be doing???
Hi,
This is a touching
story... Thank you for sharing it so openly.
Going through a
divorce can feel like all the values and things
you have been fighting for suddenly collapse.
The dream of a "partner for life" is washed by
reality...
He needs space. He
needs time to digest. It's true he doesn't want
to believe or follow his feelings because he is
scared the same will happen again (separation,
divorce, etc.)
He wants to
protect as well what is left from his family,
the contact with his children. He does not want
to take the risk of destabilizing this subtle
equilibrium.
Respect him for
that...
Your options? Give
him space and freedom. Pressure and demands are
the biggest turn offs.
You have not much
time/space with him? The best is to make this
time valuable and precious. Focus on quality
time, on quality space. Explain to him that if
this is what he has to offer, this is what you
are ready to share. Asking for more at this
stage would turn him off.
At the same time
if you feel you can't wait to start a new
relationship, keep your options open. He is not
committed to you so don't be committed to him.
You are both free. Open up and go out,
socialize. Stay open to date other men. You are
free! His lack of present openness should not
stop you from getting what you need. So go out
and enjoy. I'm sure you have infinite gifts to
offer.
He's not sharing
much with you right now... So don't feel obliged
to tell him everything...
Enjoy!
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